Day 3 of Ice-cation. Now before I get too far into this blog, let me just say to the Yankees that make fun of Texans for their reaction to this type of weather and our inability to navigate the streets, this is not a Snow-cation. The stuff on the roads is not fluffy flurries of snow. It's ice. Hard sheets of solid ice. When this junk was making its way to earth from the skies it sounded like large pieces of gravel being pelted against my windows by an angry 500 pound man. I am over Ice-cation. I am over rolling blackouts that left us without electricity for 6 1/2 hours. I won't go into all of the government conspiracy theories that I endured from Hubby yesterday. Mind numbing.
Now for the fun part of Ice-cation. Family time. While we were huddled in the master bedroom with the warmth of a propane heater, until the fire alarms went off and the heater went bye-bye, we turned to games. Scattergories. Lots of laughs. For example... Topic: Things that are cold, letter A. Hubby and I both answered ass. We couldn't quit laughing. But that wasn't the best answer of the day. That award goes to Boy. Topic: Things found in purse or wallet, letter C. My answer, compact. Hubby's answer, car keys. Boy's answer, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, Condom. Yeah, I'll let that sink in for a minute. So, I immediately do what any great parent would do, I text Too Tall to tell on Boy. Seriously though, apparently all of our sex talks at Sunday lunch have paid off. Boy knows what it means to be prepared - for his Honeymoon if I have anything to say about it. Moving on...
We also spent some quality family time coming up with our very own family dictionary. You may be familiar with a tool called the Urban Dictionary which contains definitions for slang terms or subculture phrases which cannot be found in a standard dictionary. Since I plan on maintaining this blog space for the foreseeable future, I thought it might be a good idea to give you a reference tool in case some of these words and phrases appear in my writing. Let me present to my faithful followers…
THE NOT SO WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY
WORDS: Word – (phonetic pronunciation) – (voice inflection if required) – meaning-example
Beerid – (beer-id) Hubby’s drink of choice after coming home from a particular stressful day and/or while watching sporting events
Idahell - Hubby’s hometown; location that is best viewed in your review mirror
Jyes - (jyes) - (slur all letters together) affirmation or agreement with any statement - EX: "Would you like for me to buy you those boots?" "Jyes." "Can I bring you a beered from the fridge?" "Jyes."
Luvells – term of endearment used both vocally and in texting; intended to convey the message of I Love You but with less syllables and typing; may be shortened to Luv (used so often on my phone that it auto-predicts the word after luve...)
Ninja – (said quickly with force, emphasis on “j”ah) term used to denote an extreme expletive without resorting to the four letter variety - EX: "There is a scuff mark on my new boots! Ninja!"
No,no,no,no,no – (technically more than one word but said in rapid succession to sound like one word) morning greeting offered to Hubby at first sighting; intended to convey dislike of all things morning
Nyeh – (nnnyeh) to disagree with or express dislike
Pooty – nickname used to excess; not having to do with any body function; intended as term of endearment; can be used to cause emotional stress for person insisting she is NOT A POOTY
Squirrel – pseudo relative who occupies space in Idahell; flitters and flits around without ever making any real progress toward goal or accomplishment
Skippy – friendly person, ready to take on any challenge or situation
Your butt – (urbutt) - anatomy found on the back side but used to convey that you are ignoring the previous statement made by the person you are conversing with - EX: "Honey, you don't have room for those boots in your closet." "Your butt."
PHRASES:
.com – (dot cooooooooooooooom) - (operatic style) emphasis on any statement just made; authoritative punctuation to the end of any sentence
Beat Me Up for Jesus – Indicates that you have heard someone say that you are less than worthy using biblical judgment to condemn you (there is a blog I could reference in this space, but I am opting to take the high road; email if you are really curious and I'll give it up)
Bom Chicka Bombom – Extremely high quality; the best of the best - EX: My new boots are bom chicka bombom.
Bow Up – (bo uuuuup) - (redneck, chain smoker voice inflection) Invitation issued to people who think they can outdo what you have established as the standard; also used as declaration that you have just accomplished something major - EX: Hubby comes home and announces that he kicked 3 kids out of school today..."Bow up, Mr. Hubby!"
Get You Some of That – (git chyu sum of dat) Expression of impressments or wonder at what you have just witnessed; high praise, affirmation, or expression of idocracy - EX: A truck passes you on the shoulder so they didn't have to wait for the 2 cars in front of you to turn left... get you some of that!
I’m Just Saying – (I’m just sayin’) A dare spoken to indicate that what you have stated should not be contradicted or questioned and is the last word on the subject matter - EX: "I'm buying that pair of boots. I'm just sayin."
Is That What You Had Said?* – (Is that what chyu had saiiiid???) - (spoken with increasing high pitched inflection) A dare spoken to indicate that you are challenging what has been stated and should the person wish to provide rebuttal they will need to bow up - EX: "Honey, you forgot to fix my tea this morning." "Is that what you had said?"
*borrowed from Bon Qui Qui
You. Go away. - imperative statement providing direction that the person being spoken to needs to leave the area immediately - EX: "Honey, you are out of room under the bed for more boot boxes." "You. Go away."
If you have any entries that you would like to share from your family dictionary, I would love to hear them. Just click the "Your turn to talk" link and type away. Stay warm and stay safe.
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