A little bit of this, that and the other

It’s been a while since I blogged.  I have been high-jacking Juju’s blog each time she posted an update on Dad.  This blog is going to be kind of random and all over the place. There is no “theme”. Just my thoughts spilling out onto the page. I hope you don’t get bored.

These last few weeks have been hard.  Dad was admitted to the hospital and then transferred to a Rehab facility.  The gist was that we were giving him nutrition through the IV for 2 weeks to help build him back up.  He is stronger. Physically.  We still have huge deficits in his memory and reasoning.  As in, his brain still won’t reason that he has to eat in order to continue his recovery.  More about that later.

If I ever doubted that God sees our struggles and knows our heart’s needs, the doubt has been put to rest.  By the end of last week, I had received 2 cards in the mail from a cousin and a sweet co-worker/friend that simply let me know they were thinking about me and that they cared.  I also had a lifelong friend pick me up and take me to dinner Thursday.  Where we laughed.  A lot.  We have tons of history so it was easy to go back in the vault and reminisce about the good ol’ days.  Like my Mom freaking out on me about my B in World History in front of my friend while we were giving her a ride home.  I am not sure that she ever asked for a ride after that.  It traumatized her.  It traumatized me.  I don’t think I made a B in that class for the rest of the year.  Funny thing is, it has affected both of us when it comes to our kids’ performance.  I told her, in my most dead-pan voice, that “I keep my expectations low so that when Boy does well, I am always surprised and pleased.”  I thought she was going to spit out her soup.  Good times. 

Last week also brought out the ‘sentimental’ in me as it was Senior Pep Rally.  I can’t tell you how proud I am of Boy. He has grown up so much in the last year.  I am not prone to crying in public, but let me tell you, I got a little choked up watching him on the gym floor holding the candle knowing that at the end of this year, he will be a certified young adult. 

So next week is Thanksgiving.  I am doing my best to stay focused on the things I have to be thankful for.  I know for sure that I am thankful that we are catering the dinner at Mom’s house.  If I have to duct tape her to the couch to keep her out of the kitchen, I will. I promise.  It’s a no-muss, no-fuss year.  Paper china and disposable cups.  I even just brainstormed an idea that we all wear our sweat suits so we can do a family picture and all be dressed like Dad. I’d order an 11x14 and frame that picture.

Thanksgiving also means it is time to get out the holiday decorations.  Hubby has already let it be known that he is getting the boxes and down and heading out of town.  I invite you to read my previous blog explaining why decorating is going to be “so much fun” this year.

 http://highstrungmusings.blogspot.com/2012/01/easing-into-new-year.html

 In fact, when I went back and read that blog, I was comforted in knowing that I held up some of my resolutions for the year.  Like being thankful every day.  I made a fb post about that last week.  I am not putting a “thankful” post on fb each day this month, but I am thankful in my own way each day for the love I have in my life.  The love of my family as we fight for each day. The love of my friends and co-workers who have known the exact moments that I needed a pick-me-up. And the love of Jesus Christ.  He doesn’t promise us tomorrow, but he promises us an eternity in His presence.

Back to Dad.  I am going to get real for a moment so if this makes you uncomfortable, stop now and have a great week.  

Ok. So Dad is still in rehab receiving his IV with nutrition.  We are stronger, but still not where we need to be.  I posted some pictures of us on fb where he was smiling and laughing.  When I look at those, they make me smile.  But it’s a flat image.  A snapshot of a moment and it certainly doesn’t tell the whole story.  While we are so grateful that Dad felt up to getting in the chair and going outside, it wasn’t “Dad”.  He was confused.  He stays confused.  For the first time, I don’t think he recognized Boy when he was telling his Papa “bye” at the end of his visit.  The faraway look in Dad’s eyes and the fact he didn’t call him by name nearly broke my heart. I am not going to judge these moments.  I am just going to cherish every smile, every laugh, and each moment.  “Dad” may not be on the surface, but he’s there. Somewhere.  And I love him. This week will be a week with a lot of information and possible changes.  Hopefully those changes will get us “home for the holidays”. 

I am going to end this rambling mess with another “Thank you” to all of our friends and families who have prayed, visited, called, sent cards or goodies and expressed your well wishes.  We love you!