Easing into the new year…

If you follow my blog or my fb at all, you know that the end of 2011 was kind of bitter for me.  Dad’s diagnoses of CNS lymphoma, the usual holiday stress, and not having time to do the usual giving to friends weighed heavy on my heart.  I nearly had a breakdown.  You can go back and read my “Bad Mood Blog” to see just how close I came to throwing in the towel and running away from home.  I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone.  I was wearing my feelings on my sleeve and it seemed every time I turned around some “small” incident felt like the end of the world.  Well, I am proud to say that I am looking forward to Christmas 2012! Shocking! I know.  I could wax poetic about the joy of the season.  Celebrating for the right reasons.  Sharing the love.  Giving gifts from the heart to family and friends.  All of those are in fact wonderful reasons to look forward to Christmas 2012 but the reason I am so excited about it… Hubby packed up Christmas this year.  It’s going to BE Christmas unpacking all of those boxes next year.   

I spent the week after Christmas in Fort Worth at my sister’s house or the hospital while Dad received his 3^rd treatment.  I packed up my luggage and left Monday night and didn’t get back home to Hubby and Boy until Saturday afternoon.   My job makes it kind of hard to take off so I jumped at the chance to hang out with Dad during my break while he was getting “chemo’d up”.   Hubby had already made his holiday pilgrimage to Idabel so he was “Home Alone” for the second week of his Christmas vacation.  He took down the outdoor lights. Did all of the grocery shopping.  Washed, dried, and hung up all of the laundry.  Cleaned the house.  And found a marathon of “Band of Brothers” I am sure, which is stop down TV for him.  As I checked in with Hubby through the week, I kept joking with him about putting up Christmas for me.  He kept holding me off by saying that he didn’t know how I wanted things packed so he would just “help” me when I got home. I didn’t have much time.  Dad’s stay kept getting extended and I had to return to work on Monday. I was getting anxious about Christmas still being up after New Year’s. Bleh.  As Saturday morning approached, I knew that I had to get home and get Christmas taken care of.  We had company coming over for a little get together and I wanted Christmas out.  I was exhausted and was hoping that “help” meant I could bark orders of where to put things in boxes and Hubby would do all of the heavy lifting.  The only time consuming part of dismantling Christmas would be the ornaments.  Hi. I’m Amy and I’m OCD.  My ornaments are sorted by style and texture and stored in gianormous zip lock bags.  They are then carefully laid flat in the storage bin with nothing on top of them.  You have the fluffy ornaments; sock monkeys, crocheted Santas and snowmen.  You have rustic metal ornaments; stars, angles, snowmen.  You have shiny red/silver ornaments; initials, jingle bells, picture frames.  You have wooden ornaments; Texas outlines, cowboy hats, boots, Santa clothespins.  You have keepsake ornaments; all the cute things that Hunter has made.  You have bows; big plaid bows that need to be flattened carefully to fit back in the cracker barrel bag.   Now you know why Hubby kept putting me off.  

I walk into my house Saturday afternoon and BAM! Christmas is gone. The first thing I noticed was the runner from the table had been replaced with a single place mat and the plate stand of goodies in the center.  Then it really hits me.  The TREE was gone! The window sill was empty. The snowman bulletin board was gone.  It’s ALL GONE.  I fall on the couch next to Hubby and nearly started crying as I thanked him over and over.  What a relief.  Then it hits me again.  There was NO WAY Hubby knew about the ornaments.  He quickly told me that he knew I was too tired and that he wanted me to rest before company comes over.  He joked about the fun I will have next year getting to go through the boxes and trying to figure out what he was thinking when he put the stuff up.  And you know what?  I am going to do just that.  Who cares about the ornaments? I am sure they will be fine.  I already know that it is going to be an adventure, because when I went to put up a candle stand (that he missed) in the cabinet above the fridge, I found Hunter’s snowman, stained-glass, hurricane globe.  Yep. That isn’t where that goes. Until now. And it’s ok.

I am not making any resolutions this year.  I am taking it a day at a time. I am trying to find joy, every day. I am reading my Jesus Calling devotional, every day.  I am going to ignore those that hurt my feelings, every day. I am going to cherish moments with family, every day.  I am sure that some days will be better than others, but I am going to be thankful none the less. Every day.