The ugly truth...

I am a sore loser. Wait, let’s be honest. I HATE losing and I don’t take it well. At all. Ever. So when I found out recently that I “lost” something I have wanted to “win” for a long time, make that a very long time, I did not react well. And it’s not so much that I “lost”, I just didn’t get picked. Which is actually the same as losing.

I think this can be traced to my childhood. I have vivid memories of my losses. I lost being a cheerleader to Tonja in 5th grade. We tried out in front of our student body and ONE girl made it from each elementary for the next year in Middle School. What possessed me to think I could beat a girl that was on target to become an Olympic gymnast? Talk about misplaced confidence. I lost lead roles in our elementary plays. I am pretty sure those always went to Tammy and Deneise. I managed to be one of many sheep in Charlotte’s Webb, one of the nuns in the Sound of Music, and many other roles in the “chorus” throughout the years. Never the lead. I hated it. I tried out for a special Drill Team performance my freshman year. Going up against junior and seniors. Again with the misplaced confidence. I didn’t get picked. Deidre did. She was a freshman. I hated her for a little while. I was a very sore loser. I am sure I privately pouted for days. Losing stinks.

We don’t let kids lose anymore. Why? When did we adapt the mentality that losing is “bad” for kids? We tell them everyone’s a winner. We let them all play. We don’t keep score. We are doing them a disservice by taking away the opportunity to experience loss. Even though I probably could have handled all of my losses better, I learned a lesson from each and every one of them. I have my Mom to thank for that. She didn’t let us pout for too long. It was “pick yourself up and move forward”. She taught us to set a new goal and to work harder for it. I am sad to think about how these “everybody wins” kids are going to handle loss when they grow up.

So, after “losing” Friday and sharing my temper tantrum with my best friend, I began to think about all the ways in which I have “won”. I want to share with you. Because it makes me feel better. And less like a loser.

I won…
* the best kid. He is so sweet and polite. I get compliments on him from many of the adults he interacts with. (yeah yeah, this must come from his Grandma because I am not sweet.)
* best friends. The one that lets me rant about losing. The one that lets me rant about her being too far away. The one that is my sister but chooses to be my friend anyway.
*great parents. Who are now both enjoying retirement and are most deserving of their leisure time.
*a great Hubby. He puts up with a lot. A lot. Let me repeat. A lot. I am not always easy to live with. He’s not either, that’s why he’s a winner too. (just had to throw that out there)
*a great “ex” family. Boy is so blessed by having 2 sets of awesome grandparents. Divorce is ugly and it’s hard and it can be categorized as losing but in this case, we eventually became winners. I love my “ex” family so much. They have never made me feel anything but loved and welcomed. Even Too Tall and I found a way to look past our mistakes and make it the best situation for Boy. To use the cliché, can’t we all just get along? Yes. Yes we can and we do.
*a spot in heaven for eternity. Don’t doubt that just because I haven’t been warming up a pew in church these past several months that my place at the Pearly Gates is in jeopardy. I am a born-again Christian. A sinner redeemed. A child of God.
*you guys. My people, my friends that read this crazy mess that I babble out a few times a month. Your comments keep me going and make me feel like a winner!